I’m sure when you started to dream of the life we would have, you thought of a sweet little girl who would love tea parties and dolls and have girly nights together. You never imagined buying your daughter Ninja Turtles for Christmas and watching her build ramps to jump and beg to go fishing everyContinue reading “Thank you, Mom.”
Author Archives: Stef G.
Dear John
Death is a reality for all of us, but it’s an event that still causes a lot of suffering for those of us left behind. We grieve the loss, of course, but it’s also a very stark reminder that none of us knows what tomorrow will bring, or if we will even have a tomorrow.Continue reading “Dear John”
Tonight I Heard Sirens
Sirens are always a stark, solemn reminder that life can change drastically in an instant. Every time I hear them I’m reminded of the morning I woke up to paramedics wheeling my Nana past the bedroom while my mother was crying on the phone. Nana never woke up. I remember the night a man rangContinue reading “Tonight I Heard Sirens”
Into the Unknown
If any of you are even remotely like me, you crave some sort of control in life. You long to believe that you have a say in how things go and your expectations will be met. If you experience a situation where you feel like you have little or no control, your anxiety kicks inContinue reading “Into the Unknown”
Broken.
You want the truth? You wanna know how I’ve been feeling and what’s been happening since treatment ended? Ok. But you HAVE to promise me you won’t tell me “it will be ok” or “just be positive”. Because I’ve heard those things. And right now it’s NOT ok. Will it be eventually? Probably. But rightContinue reading “Broken.”
Hijacked
Every year, Winter is the hardest season for me to get through. Depression settles itself right in and takes the wheel and I become an unwilling yet taciturn passenger. But this year I’m struggling even harder to find the willpower to take back the wheel and drive. Because this year Depression has new weapons: cancerContinue reading “Hijacked”
Dear Cancer…
Things have been steadily getting better for me for the most part. My sores are slowly healing and I’m able to eat slightly more. My taste is back so food is a little more appealing, though it still takes forever to eat. I won’t know until sometime in January or February if I’m free ofContinue reading “Dear Cancer…”
Thank you.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where you can be sure you’ll scroll through your social media platform of choice to find lots of inspirational quotes on pretty backgrounds and a million people thankful for pretty much the same things over and over, which happen to also be things I think most of us takeContinue reading “Thank you.”
New Me, Who Dis?
I haven’t posted in awhile, mostly because it’s been the same boring, hellish routine of daily radiation for weeks. I have 7 treatments left and then I get to hunker down and heal, hopefully in time to actually be able to eat and enjoy some sort of food by Christmas. Right now, in this moment,Continue reading “New Me, Who Dis?”
Totally Rad…iated
Actually, I think the correct word is irradiated in this case but whatever. I officially started radiation therapy last week! I’ll be driving (or riding) about an hour each way Monday through Friday until November 19th to have a linear accelerator shoot me with a super high dose of photons. It looks as sci-fi asContinue reading “Totally Rad…iated”
