You want the truth? You wanna know how I’ve been feeling and what’s been happening since treatment ended? Ok. But you HAVE to promise me you won’t tell me “it will be ok” or “just be positive”. Because I’ve heard those things. And right now it’s NOT ok. Will it be eventually? Probably. But rightContinue reading “Broken.”
Author Archives: Stef G.
Hijacked
Every year, Winter is the hardest season for me to get through. Depression settles itself right in and takes the wheel and I become an unwilling yet taciturn passenger. But this year I’m struggling even harder to find the willpower to take back the wheel and drive. Because this year Depression has new weapons: cancerContinue reading “Hijacked”
Dear Cancer…
Things have been steadily getting better for me for the most part. My sores are slowly healing and I’m able to eat slightly more. My taste is back so food is a little more appealing, though it still takes forever to eat. I won’t know until sometime in January or February if I’m free ofContinue reading “Dear Cancer…”
Thank you.
Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where you can be sure you’ll scroll through your social media platform of choice to find lots of inspirational quotes on pretty backgrounds and a million people thankful for pretty much the same things over and over, which happen to also be things I think most of us takeContinue reading “Thank you.”
New Me, Who Dis?
I haven’t posted in awhile, mostly because it’s been the same boring, hellish routine of daily radiation for weeks. I have 7 treatments left and then I get to hunker down and heal, hopefully in time to actually be able to eat and enjoy some sort of food by Christmas. Right now, in this moment,Continue reading “New Me, Who Dis?”
Totally Rad…iated
Actually, I think the correct word is irradiated in this case but whatever. I officially started radiation therapy last week! I’ll be driving (or riding) about an hour each way Monday through Friday until November 19th to have a linear accelerator shoot me with a super high dose of photons. It looks as sci-fi asContinue reading “Totally Rad…iated”
Guilty Until Proven Innocent
When you become a parent no one tells you about the immense amount of guilt involved. You hear about the love, the sleepless nights, the worry (which is sort of related), the pride…but the guilt isn’t talked about. The guilt starts early, before the baby is even born (especially if you’re the mom carrying theContinue reading “Guilty Until Proven Innocent”
How Punk Rock Saved my Life
When I was in high school, around age 17, I was hit hard with depression and anxiety. I dropped out my senior year and began cutting just to dull the mental pain. Fortunately for me, I started a regimen of therapy and medication that, although not right for me yet, got me to graduate highContinue reading “How Punk Rock Saved my Life”
Down the Rabbit Hole
Remember Alice and her “adventures” in Wonderland? She falls into this hole, knows no one in the new world she finds, and feels like she doesn’t fit in at all. That’s exactly what it’s like to be a young adult with cancer…and I feel like especially my type of cancer (head and neck…specifically tongue). “ItContinue reading “Down the Rabbit Hole”
Fuck Cancer: A Poem
Frustration,Unending pain,Crying,Keeping me up at night. Can I do this?Am I strong enough?No more self pity.Crawl if you must.Every minute of this life is worth it.Rise up.
