I’ve spent almost the last 3 years mourning my old self, lamenting the past. I think a lot of people do this, whether or not they’ve faced cancer or another life-altering trauma. I believe it’s a form of anxious attachment to perceived comfort and stability; we feel safe in the known, even if the knownContinue reading “Rebirth”
Tag Archives: change
Superhero Status Achieved
Since my diagnosis first with Charcot-Marie-Tooth (a genetic degenerative neuromuscular disease) and then with tongue cancer (also a genetic thing), I’ve often joked that I’m like one of the X-Men. If you’re unfamiliar with Marvel’s X-Men, they can best be described as humans with genetic changes that give them a variety of super powers. They’reContinue reading “Superhero Status Achieved”
The Gift
I can distinctly remember a shirt I hated as a child because it was itchy. I remember throwing a fit because of it. I still hate itchy or restrictive clothes. I have to have 400+ thread count sheets and they have to be cotton, not sateen. Otherwise they feel scratchy and I can’t get comfortable.Continue reading “The Gift”
Summertime Sadness
Ah, Summer. The warm air. Crickets chirping. Beach trips. Family vacations. Cookouts. A sense of inexplicable depression and dread. Record screech Wait, what? This time two years ago I was discovering myself and learning to accept myself. I was getting into working out more, had met a really great guy, my son had just finishedContinue reading “Summertime Sadness”
A Eulogy to My Former Self
Today I miss her. I miss her smile. I miss her sarcasm and how she would sit outside on Summer evenings and savor a glass of sweet wine. I miss her love of spicy food and trying new things and pushing the limits of her physical capabilities. I even miss her naivete. Sometimes I especiallyContinue reading “A Eulogy to My Former Self”
Out of the Darkness Comes the Light
Sometimes when I’m feeling particularly emotional, I just start writing. This came to me a few days ago when I was feeling down about post-treatment life. One thing I find so amazing about creative writing is it almost always leads me to the mindset shift I need to pull myself out of the darkness. ItContinue reading “Out of the Darkness Comes the Light”
2020 Vision
Well, I think it’s safe to say most of us are pretty ecstatic to leave 2020 behind us. I feel like we’ve never been more divided into “us” and “them” than we became this year. We stopped listening to what one another had to say and our ignorance and selfishness has hurt us more thanContinue reading “2020 Vision”
The Power of And
I saw a post today about mental health and cancer survivors and realized yesterday was Mental Health Awareness Day. If you’ve spent any time at all reading my posts you have probably realized that mental health is a cause as near and dear to my heart as cancer. Since my treatment ended, I’ve been workingContinue reading “The Power of And”
One Year.
August 7th marked one year from the phonecall that started the most life-altering time period of my life thus far. One year of fear, tears, anger, depression, helplessness, jealousy, and pain. But also one year of growth, resilience, strength, learning, and hope. A year of obstacles and a year of climbing over them no matterContinue reading “One Year.”
A Letter to My Younger Self
Dear Child, I know you don’t understand. You don’t know how to control those big emotions swirling around in your brain, making your body feel sick and shaky and your tiny heart pound. You are doing the best you can with what you know. It will get easier, I promise. Some day, you’ll realize thatContinue reading “A Letter to My Younger Self”
One Life, One Chance 