When you become a parent no one tells you about the immense amount of guilt involved. You hear about the love, the sleepless nights, the worry (which is sort of related), the pride…but the guilt isn’t talked about. The guilt starts early, before the baby is even born (especially if you’re the mom carrying theContinue reading “Guilty Until Proven Innocent”
When I was in high school, around age 17, I was hit hard with depression and anxiety. I dropped out my senior year and began cutting just to dull the mental pain. Fortunately for me, I started a regimen of therapy and medication that, although not right for me yet, got me to graduate highContinue reading “How Punk Rock Saved my Life”
Remember Alice and her “adventures” in Wonderland? She falls into this hole, knows no one in the new world she finds, and feels like she doesn’t fit in at all. That’s exactly what it’s like to be a young adult with cancer…and I feel like especially my type of cancer (head and neck…specifically tongue). “ItContinue reading “Down the Rabbit Hole”
Frustration,Unending pain,Crying,Keeping me up at night. Can I do this?Am I strong enough?No more self pity.Crawl if you must.Every minute of this life is worth it.Rise up.
Some days are harder than others and I’m really not sure why. However, this was true in life before cancer as well so perhaps it’s my depression, anxiety, hormones, or a healthy dose of all 3. Regardless, at any given moment a hundred thoughts are flying around my head, and today I happened to grabContinue reading “(A)Musings”
Riding home from the hospital was supposed to feel liberating; I expected relief and a “breath of fresh air”…but what I got was crushing anxiety and depression. We drove past a 7-Eleven, not usually a particularly emotional event, and I started tearing up. “How can I go on a short trip?! I won’t be ableContinue reading “Emotion Sickness”
I am a fairly healthy 37 year old female. I’ve never smoked, drink rarely, and have no family history of cancer. I remember finding a sore lump under the left side of my chin and asking a doctor I work with if I should be concerned. A friend had just been diagnosed with Lymphoma andContinue reading “The C Word – How it All Went Down”
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin Hi, I’m Stef! This is my first blog post, like, ever. I chose to start writing because I wanted to reach a larger audience with everything I’m going through…I’veContinue reading “We’ll Start at the Beginning”