New Me, Who Dis?

I haven’t posted in awhile, mostly because it’s been the same boring, hellish routine of daily radiation for weeks. I have 7 treatments left and then I get to hunker down and heal, hopefully in time to actually be able to eat and enjoy some sort of food by Christmas. Right now, in this moment,Continue reading “New Me, Who Dis?”

Totally Rad…iated

Actually, I think the correct word is irradiated in this case but whatever. I officially started radiation therapy last week! I’ll be driving (or riding) about an hour each way Monday through Friday until November 19th to have a linear accelerator shoot me with a super high dose of photons. It looks as sci-fi asContinue reading “Totally Rad…iated”

Guilty Until Proven Innocent

When you become a parent no one tells you about the immense amount of guilt involved. You hear about the love, the sleepless nights, the worry (which is sort of related), the pride…but the guilt isn’t talked about. The guilt starts early, before the baby is even born (especially if you’re the mom carrying theContinue reading “Guilty Until Proven Innocent”

How Punk Rock Saved my Life

When I was in high school, around age 17, I was hit hard with depression and anxiety. I dropped out my senior year and began cutting just to dull the mental pain. Fortunately for me, I started a regimen of therapy and medication that, although not right for me yet, got me to graduate highContinue reading “How Punk Rock Saved my Life”

(A)Musings

Some days are harder than others and I’m really not sure why. However, this was true in life before cancer as well so perhaps it’s my depression, anxiety, hormones, or a healthy dose of all 3. Regardless, at any given moment a hundred thoughts are flying around my head, and today I happened to grabContinue reading “(A)Musings”

Emotion Sickness

Riding home from the hospital was supposed to feel liberating; I expected relief and a “breath of fresh air”…but what I got was crushing anxiety and depression. We drove past a 7-Eleven, not usually a particularly emotional event, and I started tearing up. “How can I go on a short trip?! I won’t be ableContinue reading “Emotion Sickness”

The C Word – How it All Went Down

I am a fairly healthy 37 year old female. I’ve never smoked, drink rarely, and have no family history of cancer. I remember finding a sore lump under the left side of my chin and asking a doctor I work with if I should be concerned. A friend had just been diagnosed with Lymphoma andContinue reading “The C Word – How it All Went Down”